


Luigi, the Princess and the Pea

by LezzlesTheBrave



Category: Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga, Mario - Fandom, Nintendo, Super Mario Bros
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Parody, Prince Peasley - Freeform, Princess Daisy - Freeform, bi!Luigi, crackfic, luigi - Freeform, princess and the pea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 07:43:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15019913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LezzlesTheBrave/pseuds/LezzlesTheBrave
Summary: The Princess and the Pea rewritten into something Nintendo may or may not approve of. Daisy and Peasley pine for a plumber’s love.





	Luigi, the Princess and the Pea

 

ONCE upon a time, there was a green-capped plumber who wanted to marry a princess, a real princess! He travelled across forest clearings, stormy deserts, echoing caves, and even underwater to find the royal of his dreams. She seemed to be nowhere to be found. After his numerous adventures, the plumber would return home with a frown. His brother had an idea! A flyer would be put up across Mushroom Kingdom. “Seeking Royal, Male with Female Preference; In the 30’s give or take, Charming blue eyes!” The posters hung, though not quite interspersed, not allowing their viewers to miss them within a given location. Thankfully a Toadstool or two were given the task to spread the news properly.

One evening, grey and cloudy accompanied with loud crashes of thunder, kept the plumber awake. Even with the mattress store’s closing sale, no amount of cheap futons could lull the plumber to sleep. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. The plumber rushed to the door to find an eloquently adorned figure, cloaked in yellow and bruises, standing before him. Her legs were distanced, her back upright and hands to her waist as if to grasp all the confidence left in her. Her dress, reaching the floor, was ripped to the side with seams fleeing the scene. Her crown was muddied with drops of rain trickling down to her scalp. Her brows remain still, determined to claim herself as a victor of her own story. She gathered herself before announcing: “I’m Daisy! I am the princess you’re looking for!”

The plumber’s brother entered the scene, glancing from the side. Surely a brutish woman could not be a real princess. Mama Mia! The brother grabbed our hero to the side, convincing him that the woman before them would need to prove herself before a decision was made.

“I-I-I’m-a sorry, but, uh,” the plumber stammered, “I must wait for other contestants!”

Daisy nodded, sure she would win, and slipped a paper with her number to the floor. It would remain there, as soggy rain-muddled papers have not much use but to become mâché.

A few days passed when news of the plumber’s plea reached to Prince Peasley of Beanbean Kingdom. There was a man for him that could deal with any toilet-related ordeal! A dream! Must be all those beans.

It was a quiet evening at the plumber’s home when KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. The plumber leaped to the door again, this time opening to see a small lime-green sprout. His head cocked upwards, revealing his smirk. A long burgundy cape trailed behind him. His golden hair remained lightly tossled by the wind. In his hand was a pink rose. His grin began to form the words: “I am your suitor, peasant, take my gift with stride!”

In that moment, the plumber gasped before the sprouty-man shoved the rose into his hands. “Let the name ‘Prince Peasley’ ring in your ears!” the suitor belted before making haste. He had duty to attend to.

Princess Daisy had enough. It had been long since she left her number for a plumber to pick up, with no answer or service. A winner must be announced! She made her way to the plumber’s abode, passing by _Futons-For-Free!,_ when she came across a strange green man with golden hair. His gait was almost as cocky as hers, yet he seemed unrightfully pleased with himself. His smug grin stretched to the side of his face, not leaving much room for the rest of the features. Daisy stopped him to ask what had brought him such ego and ease.

“My! It seems I have won the heart of a man so handy, my kingdom will no longer suffer!”

Daisy pouted, surely he did not mean the plumber. His gaze did not waver, confirming her suspicions. “What have you done for him?”

“It doesn’t take much to earn a human’s heart, pretty little flower. Now be gone! I do not intend to lose!”

In that moment Daisy had gathered all her rage. She quickly made off, as Peasley wanted, though not far away. Her return to him was brief. 20 mattresses should be enough to leave his small body squirming! The night had been long and Daisy did not intend to leave her job unfinished. It was time for a long-awaited rest before she could compose herself to meet her fated plumber.

The early morning arrived. Daisy regained her self-possession when KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. The plumber slowly made way to his door. Did people no longer need a plumber to quest anymore? The plumber dropped his jaw, uttering, “D-Daisy!”

His brother watched from his couch. He got up to address her: “It’s been a while, what are you-a up to this early? How did you sleep?” 

“Oh, very badly!” Daisy grumbled, “I had a rough tumble with this little green man. I’d kept him quiet under my bed, but his stirring kept me up all night!”

Curious as to what she was referring to, the plumber and his brother went to check the scene. “Peasley!” recalled the plumber, in shock. How did a man of such assertiveness and stature allow himself to be so low.

“Y-you trapped Peasley? Under 20 mattresses?” questioned the plumber. Daisy responded positively as the plumber’s brother chimed in.

“You are-ah the real princess!”

Only the plumber’s true love would show him no attitude when offering love and protection. A real princess! So the plumber took his new wife, and the pea was put in his kingdom, where he belonged unheard of.

 

THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> I had been having a conversation of ships with a friend when I thought a fic was due.


End file.
